The Gap
by RedRubyStorm
Summary: The best way to vent my feelings on a day of remorse. If you know what song part of my good-bye quote is, I encourage you to tell me. I just... It's sad. Be warned.
1. Chapter 1

I walked along the street, with my best friend - Electra.

"'Lectra, how's Pounce?"

She gulped, "Jelly's not exactly sure.." I could tell she wished I hadn't brought it up.

"You know Pounce, he always finds his way back again."

"But it's never been as serious as this, Ruby! Before he'd always had some form of conscienceness! Why'd you have to bring it up?!"

"I'm sorry, but... he's my best friend, your brother. I can't help but worry!"

"I know... let's just.... not talk about it, okay?"

We walked along the clearing, and sat at out favorite places. But even here something was wrong... There was a gap in the circle we usually made - well two. Etcy was grounded, but we knew she'd be back, but... I couldn't even bring myself to think it. I could tell Electra was having the same problem.

"I have to go, I can't stand it in here." I said to her, softly. I walked towards the gates, threw a murderous glance at Alonzo, who was guarding the gates, and walked out onto the streets. I could tell Lonz was slightly afraid of me, I was one of the few who could throw him to the ground. I needed something to keep my mind off of him. I vaguely imagined a few scenarios:

_Breaking into Macavity's lair and beating a few people up._ Nah, too dangerous. I didn't have to risk my own hide to get my mind off of _his_.

_Going thieving with Mungo and Rumple._ No. I'm not flexible, or graceful. Never was, never will be.

_Running away._Same solution as the one with Macavity.

_Spending time with my own family._What family did I have? Jennyanydots as my adoptive mother? She works in the medical den, where he is. That would just make things a thousand times worse.

I kicked something in my anger.

"Ouch! Damn it!" I'd kicked a large chunk of glass. So much for avoiding the medical den. I hopped around, holding my bleeding paw.

"Go' a bit of a problem there, eh Ru?"

"Mungojerrie." I grinned. Perfect timing. But then, reality hit, why was I smiling? Then I saw the sack, he'd been out thieving, that means he hadn't been at the Junkyard. That means he wasn't a bearer of any type of news. "Mungo, you mind helping me back?"

"No, I wa' just goin' ta stan' there 'n watch you struggle." Sarcasm. The best invention in the universe.

"Please?"

"Oh, alrigh'."

He hopped down off of the roof he'd been standing on and helped steady me by grabboing my arm. His other hand (paw?) there should I fall. And so in this way we struggled to the Junkyard. Alonzo's eyes widened when he saw the state I was in,

"What'd you do? Wrestle a Great Dane?"

I smiled wanly, "More like tried to fight a chunk of glass." He snorted, called for Coricopat to take over the gate, and got onto my other side. The faster we could walk. They both could tell my breathing got faster and my walk slowed when we got close to the medical den. Both sensing why Alonzo muttered something to Jerrie then went inside.

"Migh' as well sit down, Ru. We won' make ya go in there."

"Thanks." I pulled my head to my knees. And waited. And waited. Finally Jenny came out, acting as if she didn't get this finished in 3 seconds, the world would fall. She quickly poured some water over my whole leg. Yow! That was cold. She then wrapped a ton of gauze over it. This in itself was uncomfortable, it was very tight. Finally she was done. She gave me a brief smile before rushing inside. Great, alone again. I mumbled an excuse to Jerrie and rushed off. Well, maybe not rushed considering the state my leg was in, but hobbled - quickly.

I found Electra and sat down. By the various and numerous looks Tanto and Cori gave us, something big was going to happen. I didn't want to think about it, I just sat there and let my brain go numb. Something orange was walking towards us. My mind was so fuzzy I couldn't make out who exactly. But then a motherly voice spoke out: "Dears, Etcetra wants to play."

Play? That word sparked in my brain. Play was what... we used to do. Before the nightmares. Before we'd turned eleven. Etcy just sat down and just pulled herself into the position I was in. Knees to your head, tears streaming out of your eyes. Classic. I expected it before it came. Jenny and Jelly both came over both looking dismal. That was my first sign. They sat inbetween us so each girl would have a hand on their shoulder. Sign number two.

"I'm so sorry dears, we did everything we could..." Number three.

"But Pouncivul..." Jenny choked into violent tears. Number four, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Is dead." I finished. Why not be upright with the facts? Jelly looked at me in surprise. I'd decided right then and there that I had to be the strong one, for the group of us. He wasn't my brother, he wasn't in my care, he wasn't my son. He was my best friend. I had to be the strongest, it only made sense. Electra was making loud, wailing sounds. Etcy just looked... numb. In complete shock. Jenny and Jelly were clutching at each other, silent tears running down their cheeks.

I had silent tears too, I'd stood up. Tumblebrutus, Pounce's brother came over, and hugged me. For a long time. He knew how much Pounce had meant to me. I was in shock too, Tumble was shaking his head. He didn't - he couldn't believe it. Neither could I. I just walked to a tree. Climbed it, and surveyed the Junkyard. I saw everyone going in groups of twos and threes, going to the large tire, where Old Deuteronomy was sure to make a speech. Pounce was, after all, only a kitten. I slowly climbed back down, and found Electra, at least I would be there if she exploded.

When Old. D. started his speech, I was glad I was there. Electra was wailing again. I leaned over against her shoulder, with silent tears once again I comforted her the best way I could. I put my arm around her, and lead her away. A few others glanced up, realized who it was, then looked like they took pity on us. We sat down, in our favorite spots. Sitting silently. Crying our eyes out, I was surprised my tearducts didn't burst. At some point, Etcetra joined us. Staring on blankly. She and Electra were sisters, thus she was hurt by Pouncivul's death too. Well, we were all hurt, but...

Tumblebrutus eventually joined us in Pouncivul's spot. "It's been done." Electra wailed harder. Etcy stared on blankly, and I, well I asked what had happened. "They've put him in a grave, and if you have any last words, I suggest heading over now." I nodded, Etcy was still staring, but nodded, and Electra stood up, still sobbing. I grabbed hold of her shoulders and together, the four of us walked to where there was a giant hole in the earth. I looked down, there was Pouncivul.  
"You better find a way to tell me what's over there, what Heaviside is like, and good-bye. You're my best friend, I'd do anything for you. But everything changes. Things are changing constantly." My good-bye.  
"Pounce... you knew it. You were right. But, like always, I wish you hadn't proven me wrong." Tumblebrutus's words.  
"G-good-bye. You were a brother and a-a friends to me..." Electra obviously couldn't handle this.  
"Everything hurts. I don't know if I can handle this. But, Pounce... don't feel bad. It wasn't your fault. I blame no one." Etcy may have had the most accurate and truthful good-bye words.

But Etcy, in her farewell words, so young, yet so wise, had been absolutely right. It was no one's fault, and it hurt - badly. But like all things, the pain eventually resides, and you learn to deal with it. The pain never goes away, but you become a stronger person. You can just deal with the pain, and that's all you can do. Find new friends to fill the gap, or leave it empty. The gap is unavoidable, but it is bearable.

* * *

**My best friend's brother died one year ago - today. A blod clot, bad in his lungs. He is my Pouncivul. My best friend is my Electra. I am Ruby. My friend's little sister is Etcy. Her mom is Jenny. My other friend is Tumblebrutus. He's the one who made the gap bearable for me. He and the others. And I didn't think cats would use coffins so... This has nothing to do with Ruby's story, it's just me venting my feelings on a day of remorse. I don't want to put the Golden Cycle here, it would just be... wrong. Thank-you.**


	2. Ending Explanation

**I didn't feel right not explaining this, so here's the ending, well, not really an ending. Because I already ended it, but let's say... an explanation.**

Okay, I've already explained who's who. (But of course I forgot someone in the credits at the end- my Mungojerrie, who actually, now that I think of it, should've been a Rumpleteazer... But... you get the picture.) I think you all realize that this is based off a true story, and if you didn't, it is. This is very close to what really happened. Let me say, I really did kick a large piece of glass, and it hurt. Very badly. I was stupid enough to kick something barefoot, but I was under a lot of pressure. A lot of things to worry about. To this day, if I slam my foot down on the ground hard enough, I can feel all the tiny little splinters. Where they would be anyway. And the gap really exists, today, and last year. And new people came and made it bearable in reality. And those were actually all of our good-bye words, but you're going to have to substitude Heaven for Heaviside. My best friend (Electra in the story) tries to forget, most of the time. Days like yesterday she wears all black. And says she plans to in the future. And, Pounce (in the story. I'm not going to say their real names, so deal with it) was a year older than us. But he was my best friend. He knew his time would be up soon. That's why 'Tumblebrutus's good-bye was the way it was. 'Pounce' and I were always interested in ghosts and things on the other side, so that's what the first part of mine was relating to. My best friend (Electra) really couldn't take it when we all said good-bye. She was extremely thankful I was there. 'Etcetra' the youngest of us, really was staring like crazy. It seemed that was all she could do. And she truly was the calmest, wisest of us that day. It was her that actually egged me on to vent my feelings by writing this, I had ranted to her before I actually started. Eventually she just said, "Stop. Please, I get it. Don't you have a fanfiction? Use it. Get your feelings out." And I listened, so here it is. Sometimes I think she's smarter than me. And I know she'll yell at me for this (she's got a temper, why do you think I called her Etcetra?) but it's true. And, the ceremony didn't happen all in one day, but a week. I didn't want to exaggerate the pain we all felt more than I had to. At one point, my friend actually walked the mile to my house, in a torrential downpour, and just curled up into a ball on my bed. It scared me, but I knew how she felt. I sat with her, helped her when needed. Her mom didn't even ask. She must've figured it out. I think that's all I need-I want to say on this. I'm sorry. And thank-you. {RedRubyStorm

* * *

Evanne Taylor, thanks for the advice you gave me a couple of days ago.


End file.
